I apologize to you all who makes comments and faves lately, for my late reply. I had a health issues, and I am trying to detect diagnosis and find a proper treatment. Than, a week ago I got a very hard influenza, so painfull, with high temperature, that I couldn't manage it psychic any more. I cried from the stress. I am still ill, but it is better now.
And than, my dear Maza, my dog, 14 years old, she began to get frequent heart attacks. Before approximately 15 days, she had two attacks, and that night, she was lay in my arms, looking in my eyes, peaceful, I was talking to her how much I love her, and her heart stops. Oh, God, I wish she pass away that night. The essence was right, the love and peace in the air was right... But she returned. The vet gave her the medicals for heart, but I discovered that she breaths very hard and I palpated some bump on her thorax. Here where I live, the vet ambulance hasn't much instruments, but... because she cough frequently, and than had attacks... the vet are not very optimistic. Nor I am. I was asking for pills for heart, but very low dozes, because, if it is not heart, or, not only the heart, I decided not to torture her. I did it to Samantha, my cat, for almost 2 years, and I still can't beleive what I was done to her. When I watch the videos I made with her, I ask myself how it is possible that I didn't see that I was tortured her!? I just wasn't prepare to let her go. If you ask me, I never let her go. I never let go anyone. But life doesn't work that way.
So, I was hoping that Maza shall live... with pills, my care.... but, suddenly, that night and next few hours she had 4 attacks. It is my second time in my life to make a decision of life and death. After Samantha, I hoped I'll never have to do it again. But, here it is, the moment I am afraid the most. My smiley, happy, lovely, dear dog, my friend, her life was in my hands. I think I'll cry all my life, for her, for Sammy, because - there is always a question...
Even I knew all, that question will always hunting me...
Rest in peace now, my dear friend. I learned from you what is courage, what is love, what is fidelity, what is fellowship, protection, what is safeness, what is happiness... Thank you, Maza. Have a good journey, and say hello to my dad and Samy. Love you, forever!





















